Monday, August 29, 2005

Being 20 something

I received this forward today. Unlike most forwarded emails, this one struck a chord with me. This is so close to heart and I couldn't have expressed it any better. I wonder if everyone goes through this "Quaterly-life Crisis".

To all u 20-somethings........

Maybe we all r going through this "Being Twenty-Something". They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are any things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling Insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your Opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and Cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and Confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to The Past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to
Make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion..... GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US


At 9:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really nice stuff...pretty much what we all of us go through....i dont know if its a "crisis" but it surely is a maddening feeling when u see yourself in a rat race which leads go to the next level hoping for things to improve but somehow everything you seem to do gets screwed......Disillusioned as usual.......

Keep posting...


At 6:50 PM, Blogger observer said...

Nice one, could certainly relate to this to some extent.

"You start realizing that people are selfish ... are some of the most important ones"

I tend to think somewhat differently. You have lost touch with many precisely because they have NOT been important and besides, had you kept in touch, they would also have felt the same---selfish.

I read the NUS President's address to the graduating students in 2004. One thing that struck me was his advice to the students. He said that as we move away from the university and into "real lives", we find that suddenly the boundaries and structures that had been dictating our lives have disappeared. There is no longer a single (or a few) well defined path, no single metric of success, and no limits on who you interact and deal with. I guess this 20-something crisis is related to getting used to this new operating domain.

I, however, will not be surprised if 20 years from now, we look back and wonder that the best days of our lives were 20 years ago:-)

At 2:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

whats all the confusion abt? were all always changin n evolving n if at 20 sumthin u havent gotten used 2 change in urself n in ppl arnd u then wat hav u bin doin all these yrs? if u ask me 20s r the time wen u open ur eyes n c n understand ppl n situations as they really r instead of lookin thru rose colored spectacles. it shows u the bad things in life yes but also the gud. but with greater clarity shud come greater knowledge n understanding not confusion.

At 6:52 PM, Blogger nemo said...

Hi all,

Thanks for the comments.


Yeah, it's the rat race that I want to get out of. We are on the same boat, I guess.


I can relate very well to the NUS president's address.


What can I say to that! With so much energy that needs to be tapped and the desire to make something of ourselves,I feel these are our best days too. In our 30s we will probably be more concerned about our families and career will take a backseat. So, that puts a pressure to become something and fast. I guess that leads to the confusion.

At 6:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Nidhi,

I am interested in knowing how you can go for higher studies in Singapore after completing your 12th in India and what are the future prospects. It will be very nice of you if you can enlighten me regarding the above queries.

Thanks in advance.

At 6:56 PM, Blogger nemo said...

Dear Anon,

There are three universities and 5 polytechnic institutes in Singapore. If you tell me your interests, your expected %age in 12th standard and the board you will be taking, I will be able to advise you better.

If you give me your email address, I could then mail you directly.

At 6:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this is a pretty great generalization and sumation about being in your 20's. I hate it and I can't wait for the next confusing stage of life!

At 3:12 AM, Anonymous Amol said...

it is a nice essay abt ppl in 20's...really good one....What i have experienced and learnt from my experience is....Be broad minded n never limit urself to one surrounding n same ppl....keep exploring...dat i think is the only way to come out wen u feel blue or confused....
n also my conclusion is in the end one realises the solution to all complicated things is just not to complicate them n keeping it simple...

At 5:49 AM, Blogger Imran Moosani said...

I have read this earlier - n somehow happpened to look for it again ... u knw..bein in 20's @ times u feel ur so bloody alone...u jst need somethin gud to read n cheer u up !!


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